A letter to my friend

How many sunset could you catch in your lifetime?

Dear friend, 

I know you are not well, but I hope you are doing alright. Heart broken is devastating. I am writing this piece with the hope that you might find it helpful for you right now or later.

I know it's difficult to lose someone who is responsible for some of the happiest moments in your life. Someone who filled you with memories, who made you believe, even if just for a moment, in the tenderness and the existence of a love that was created for you. I know it's difficult to unlearn all of that hope, to unravel it from your bones, to hold those goodbyes between your teeth, to not want to face the reality of that farewell. 

But do you know that, the things that broke you, the things that cracked you open, they are all going to amount to something. They did not happen to you for nothing. And I know how hard it is to see that. I know how hard it is to believe in your growth before you feel it, before you see it. I know how difficult it is to believe in the lessons life is teaching you when they hurt you in ways you never thought you would be hurt, when they are unplanned and unwanted and unruly. It's hard, but I know you can do it. We can do it. 

It is just like a learning mindset. Someone can be super smart, and has great skills, but if they don't have learning mindset, they are going to get stuck. Someone who has lower skills, but are willing to learn, will exceed them over long period of time. And I couldn't think of anyone having a stronger self-learning motivation than you. So please look up and don't get yourself stuck in the past. Please don't let yourself compromised over the same reason again. I have been there. I have been at the lowest. And I picked up the lessons when I stepped back to look at everything with a fresh mind, with empathy. I understand what didn't work, and what I had compromised.

There are phases in life that you thought you were ready to commit, but you could be wrong. We always can be wrong, it's even better to be wrong sooner rather than later. I feel relieved. And I hope you will get there soon. It takes time to recover your self-esteem, but please trust me, the journey would bring many joy and spark to you when you open yourself up to the world out there.

All the best to you. 

With love,

A friend

Right now I just keep thinking about the shooting stars in the infinite night sky on a mountain the other day...

Singapore, Fall '18